woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
