ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
