Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
