remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
