I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
