I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
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You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.