Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again