So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
