It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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