K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
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We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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