I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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