So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's never too late to be topless.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
