She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
