I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
