I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
