I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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