So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize