Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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