so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I lost the right to judge tonight
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
