Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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