"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
