I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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