when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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