I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
