I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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