dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
