Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Are my feet made of real feet?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
