Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
