I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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