I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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