Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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