i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
God, I missed his penis.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
