In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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