Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
