you have to choose: penises or morals?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He did a backflip because drugs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
