i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
