i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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