do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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