Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize