My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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