I am in a vortex of obligation.
It's Friday. Sex?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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