He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
