end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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