If that was your dad, he is hot
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
whose parrot is this?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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