Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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