just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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