Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
