apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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