I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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