Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
