she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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