Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Say something about gay babies.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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