giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
