and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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