Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
