She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize