dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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