I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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