one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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