This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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