tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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