That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
