If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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