I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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